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Fangirl Story: HE FOLLOWED ME!!!! And Higahomies


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Hi guys..

(who are you talking to?)

Of course the people who read this blog..

(oh you mean you say “hi” to yourself? HAHAHA)

*rolled eyes* So funny.. very funny..

Hi, again. Welcome to the next episode of my “Fangirl Life” story (episode?)
In my latest post, I mentioned this thing called Adweek. I might have to say big huge giant THANK YOU to Gracious for this because this is how its all started.

Things were turn extremely upside down ever since I knew Gracious. From her i found the happiness and the courage to talk with other person on Twitter. Not gonna lie I thought Gracious was a cold person before. I’m sorry i always have that fast judgment on umm mostly everything, not like I’m being mean or something I just… where was I? oh yeah right.. left? wait what? Oh yeah back to Gracious. She’s really sweet and lovely and also proved that I’m completely 100% wrong.

Now here’s the thing with me and Twitter. For some reason I… can’t.follow.people.first. people must follow me first, and if they have same interest as I am (well baby you have a chance*wink*). Even if the person has the same interest I can’t follow him or her first. That also apply in real life, if you’re not making the first move I ain’t started anything with you. This might sounds ridiculous (well your whole life is already ridiulous too Atiq)

Back to the topic!

At that time, I wasn’t followed her, you know because of the condition above. That day like always I went to Ryan’s mention and retweet stuff satisfied my “hunger”. At some point I always found Gracious tweet about Adweek. At first my curiosity was far away to reach me, but then my mind was like “c’mon dude, give it a try, click it, click it, CLICK IT DAMMIT!!!” and you know what happen next.

I scrolled down the Adweek page. So many option, I was being emo at the moment. But I have committed that day that I only, ONLY, vote for Ryan. For probably about 2 or 3 days or maybe more I don’t know I have such a weak memory, I went to Adweek page, I have to say it from here I had no idea what kinda prize or award or something like that that Ryan would get from this Adweek stuff, all I and my fangirl six sense know that we came to vote. That’s all.

Sometimes I take a screenshot of the vote and keep on track of the vote. And not forget I tagged Ryan’s username in it (@TheRealRyanHiga #twitterBlast). And that time I wasn’t expect anything. Like literally knot.. nod? Oh yeah not (what a bad pun buddy) even after he replied me. I believe it would be the only reply I would get from him, it’s one and a lifetime chance. The possibility for it to happen again almost touch 0 maybe lower than that. Like when I tweeted him I just never thought he would even read it.

Back to Adweek!

Ryan’s channel was on 2nd top of the “Hottest Youtube Channel”. Not gonna lie, I was sitting in front of my laptop as long as possible at the campus just to vote and make it number 1.

(her booty went flat)

Dammit, don’t tell people about that! Gosh..

September 5th 2013, the day went as usual at the campus. I went to campus facility as always (enjoying the free wi fi that is). Open the Adweek page, vote for Ryan, took a screenshot, open Twitter, went to Ryan’s mention, retweet several stuff before I tweet the screenshot. Post a tweet with a screenshot and tagged Ryan’s username. The vote was tight, between Ryan’s channel, NigaHiga and Smosh. But the maniac I was, I went ham and burger, I ripped dat vote coloumn.

Long story short, this is the screenshot by the way (scren)


I tweet that screenshot. Not expecting anything to happen from that tweet, but then the future hide the surprise from me.
When I opened my notification, I saw many people fav my tweet and I was like “what the … what the actual crab happ..” I scrolled down and found this


My cheeks heated up, I FELT LIFELESS FOR A WHILE AND SUDDENLY MY HEARTBEATS WENT WILD, I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO BREATH, AT THE CAMPUS SO MANY PEOPLE WATCHING AND I FEEL LIKE KISSING MY LAPTOP. I COVERED MY MOUTH WITH BOTH HANDS AFRAID THAT A SCREAM WOULD ESCAPE MY MOUTH AND IF I SCREAM I’D MAKE PEOPLE PANIC AND I’D RATHER PANIC MYSELF THAN MAKE PEOPLE PANIC. WITH NO HESITATE I RAN, LEGIT RAN FROM MY CLASS TO THE MOSQUE. BREATHLESS WITH SMILE ADORNED MY FACE.

This might sound really.. I don’t know umm funny? But the first thing I did was pray to God, thanking my Lord. You have no idea, my body feels lifeless, my hands were cold and shaking while covering my mouth all the way from my class to the mosque, running, its like my spirit gone somewhere leaving my body but I still breathing, more like I forced my lungs to suck the air that is. And I need to calm, and praying is one of the way I can grab all my soul together. And it really worked so well.

Ever since Ryan followed me, Gracious followed me and at the same time a girl from my country who is a Higaholic, followed me. That’s feel magical because in my pray I was asking my Lord to send me at least a person from my country who has the same interest as I am so that I don’t feel alone and her name is Audi. She’s from Jakarta, tho I don’t really know her much but for me she still is a present from God to me.

From days to days, the number of my friends growing. After Audi, there’re Thuy, Farah, Celine, Robina, Mikayla, Christelle, Charm, Jinny, Elena and many more Higaholics. And not only Higaholics, I got Seetizens and Dominators too (triple win baby) and I found my life.

In my earlier life as a Higaholic, Farah by far is my dude buddy. I remember one time she gave me a quick heart attack by tweet me pictures of Ryan. Flooding my timeline with his lovable kissable face. I told her to stop because I was at public place and I was literally shaking but dat dude keep tweeting the pictures (Atiq was so new to fangirl life that time so she still too hyper) I was like a newborn vampire, you know what I mean if you watch Eclipse (#teamTwilight) and I still remember I said to Farah that I will revenge and I haven’t done it yet (school) so Farah if you happen to read this, I will bomb your notification with bunch of screenshot hehehehe >;D naah I’m too lazy.

Till this day I still can’t believe that these people found me, give me the loving feel. Just as much as I feel greatful to finally know Ryan, YTF and RHPC, these people are just… ahhh guys I love you all so much. Without them I might feel alone in this cold world. They make me feel welcomed. When we fangirl together, share the same happiness, share the same feels, share the same love. We support each other, we respect each other, we love each other. I might use the word “love” a lot because to be honest, they are lovable <3 they just as important as Ryan and I’m greatful to know each and everyone of them. Even for those I rarely talked to, you guys are one of the reasons why I’m happy. Just as much as Ryan makes me smile you all just a simple miracle to create another smile.

This might be a little bit cheessyyyy but thank you for being my homies, my gay fish buddy, my dude, my son (pee daddy loves you), my dad, my chocolate cake queen, my mami, my sisters, my everything. Wish I could say something that’s super beautiful to describe my feelings but the only word that stuck in my lil brain is the word “thank you” so THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH <3

And please remember that, even when we’re apart, well that suck because I wanna meet yall so bad, I still love you all. I still care even when we’re not talk much, please know that you have me, you have us.

(so twas soo cheeessyyy)

and also i realize that they're like so young, i'm quite surprise actually but to be honest i'm glad because they know how to make me feel like a kid (i'm 10)  :D

Until then stay teehee everybody :)

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Fangirl Story: Ryan Higa's First Reply and A Little Story Of My Higaholics Journey


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So this is going to be the part two of my fangirl story

But before i start something i would like to apologize for my grammar from my first “fangirl story”  post on this blog.

(ah please who even read...)

Shut up parentthesis!!!

(......)

For me, it was and it still is mean the milky way for me. And as the tittle said, this is the story of my first tweet or in this case Ryan Higa’s first replied to me. And a little story about my Higaholics journey.

Okay, so i t’s all started with Ryan Higa (uhh duhh)
 I considered myself as a lamp slash Higaholic in June 2013.  And at the same time I try to distance myself  from my little cyber world, Facebook. Since I can’t barely talked to people there. And then decided to using my Twitter again because I’ve been neglecting it since 2011. But the main reason is more like there were so many people in my real life that started to really judge me on my Facebook and I found there’s so many annoying people online aka MAPOTI. Also when I fangirl over Ryan in Facebook, somehow it’s just not feel right. At all. 

(And that’s how she’s all Twitter and Youtube now, oh and Blogger XD)

Moving on!!

Ever since I knew Ryan, my Youtube life finding its path to my heart and make a house in it (wait what?) but that time it wasn’t the hardcore one. I was just a regular viewer with the sense of fangirl less than 9000. So I just kinda tweeted him like a regular fan, showing him that I care, that im one of his lamp and I never really hope for him to reply my tweets because my tweets are not worth any reply and it seemed impossible. So I keep my tweet light and not demanding for him to reply.
Here’s my first tweet to Ryan Higa:


But the more I tweeted him, the more I watched his videos, the more my fangirl sense ..  turn up. I feel the need to talk with someone about Ryan Higa other than with myself.

One of the way I tried to get some Higaholics was to click the hashtag “Higaholics” hoping to find those people with the same interest. But the coward I was back then (let alone now) I never push the “follow” button cos I don’t know how to start a conversation. I can’t just say “hi, my name is Atiq, I’m a fan of Ryan Higa, please follow me I’ll follow back #teamfollowback” to people. Like it’d be so weird. So, I decided to find sometimes where I can, at least, know how to start this in a proper way.
From June to the middle of August I was fangirling by myself. Actually it was quite painful. But it was fine at least I know where to put this feeling other than screaming out loud in real life.
And then it happened. The day I completely loose all my sanity, when I cant hold myself from bungee jumping  to this fangirl world.

August 21th 2013

He, Ryan Higa, (drum roll please) TWEETED ME!!!!  OH MY GOD IT WAS OUT OF MY EXPECTATION LIKE OH MY WAS HE REALLY TWEETED ME OR MY EYES JUST WENT ALL BLURY? EVEN TILL NOW IM STILL FANGIRLING OVER MY FIRST TWEET..
HERE’S THE FIRST TWEET FROM HIM:

I never knew it coming, never expected it at all. Because, seriously, on Twitter, there’s no one other than my sister would ever reply to my tweets (mr. lonely playing in the background) but this? THIS GUY REPLY TO MY REPLY TWEET TO HIS TWEET. I ALMOST FORGOT HOW TO BREATH, I FEEL LIKE MY FEET WASN’T TOUCHING THE GROUND. (uhh because you were on your bed when you found out that he tweeted you?) YEAH BUT STILL I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHOCKED THAT I HAVE TO REFRESHING MY TWITTER NOTIFICATION FOR … A BILION TIME (not really)

The thing that I believe would never happen in my life. And it happened when I never even dare to dream about it. So unexpected. Dammittt >< (she’s still got that little heart attack)

Anyhow!!!

Ever since I got that tweet, I can’t hold it no more, I need to talk bout this with some people. I finally found the gut to follow a person. Her name is Sarah. The reason why I followed her because: 1) Ryan followed her. 2) Ryan replied her a lot. 3) I love her username. But I wasn’t go staright and say “hey, I love Ryan too, follow me J” no no no I’m not that kinda person, maybe i was but I just need a friend to fangirl with at the moment cos i can’t bare this with myself. Literally. But I still can’t find the gut to talk to her, so I wait for her to tweet something about Ryan so I can jump right in to the conversation. And yup I do had a lil convo with her. Not the hardcore typical fangirl kinda convo, just like a stranger to another stranger who have same interest. And baby, that was all I need. Like what I said, it meant the milky way for me (and that means a lot dude).

From there, I just satisfied my “hunger” of fangirl by went to Ryan Higa’s mentions and retweet stuff that had to do with him. And had the gut to give those random people’s tweet a random reply.

Another second first Higaholic was Gracious (such a cute name :) I remembered she tweeted about this called Adweek where you can vote for random things that had to do with cyber stuff like favorite social network, favorite apps and the most importan, favorite youtubers.
This post is getting too long, I guess I need to stop it here and post the rest of my Higaholics journey next time.
Until then, stay TEEHEE everybody :)

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Headlights by Eminem and a little note to my Mom :)


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Hi again, back with me.. uhh Atiq.

Actually i wanna write about my fangirl story part 2 but i got something  that actually was the part of my life too and that is music. And thanks to Ryan Higa’s tweet asking a suggestion on Eminem song that i start to listen to him again.

I was not into hardcore rap music to be honest. I more enjoying what i called “black music” (dude, thats so racist) well im Asian i dont know bout racism. Even if it exist in my country, my hood just never let me be racist. Sorry i just dont care.

Moving on!

Around September 2013 when i visited Billboard chart and saw Eminem’s song Bezerk was on the 100 chart, I just went straight to Youtube and searched for Bezerk and listen to it and .. DUUUUUUDDEEEE IZ DE BEAST I TOLD YAHH. It was like a mix between Rap and Rock combine together. Not gonne lie dude I was covering my mouth when I listen to it (fact bout me: I always covering my mouth when I fangirling and putting my “Beast Mode” on the spot. Like when I watch Ryan’s vid, listening to beatful music, etc) and all the people were like “what the hell is wrong with this girl?” I got no shame so I keep on fangirling over it. I keep pushing the play butt like a phyco.

(you what??)

And also, at the same time, fangirling over Drop That Thun Thun, Rock ‘n Roll by Avril Lavigne and Love More by Chris Brown. DA BEAT IS DOPE.

Back to the topic!

I was listening to those 4 songs for 2 weeks staright. 4 songs only. For 2 weeks. And Bezerk was like the most listen one. You can tell I was in love for 2 weeks. And then another song called Survival and Rap God made appearance on Billboard after that. These two songs, well I should say that they are soooooo Eminem. I’m actually not into them. Until Ryan make a video “Dear Ryan: Lamp God” that make me listen to Rap God again. But now I more focus on the lyrics of that song. Dude, I was crawling becos the lyrics, for me, are so funny. I highly recommended you to pay attention to the lyrics. Strong, ehhh kinda rude, so kick in, but funny.

Few moments ago I tweeted that I listen to Bezerk, Survival and Rap God. And one Higaholic suggested me to listen to Headlights.
I have to say a big THANK YOU for Yanna for that :)

And this is the MAIN reason

This song speak a lot about me and how I feel about my Mom. Like literally match, except the “he’s not around”  part I assume that refers to Dad I guess, and the part that my Mom drink, well she drinks plain water so.

I have never listening to the kinda song that speak my heart out and perfectly match my thought. This song, strong enough to make me missed my Mom’s love. And how caring she actually is and how she’s really in pain over her own problem, her “easy anger” mood that just so easy to goes off. And uhh not to mention that sometimes my Dad and my Grandma just uhh annoying.

The problem is my Mom is not the kinda person that show love by giving hugs or something physical, no, she more into giving me and my siblings loving and support (more like demanding)  words but not the cheesy one just simply word of “kids, I love you. I care bout you. I just wanna all of you to always unite as one. Five of you. I can’t never give you the best but I try”. she’s easy to get touch over some situation, she’s easy to cry. She also knows how to make us laugh. I love the way she’s always be all spontaneous and stuff like that. Such a fragile independent women.

(dude, are you crying?)

No, im not!!  Dude never cry *wipe tears*

I just missed my Mom okay!

And her cook is simply bomb *wipe salivas*

Even sometimes she’s really mean. Like when she’s mad becos I do something wrong or when I go to the market and get the wrong stuff or when I’m in my house all day do completely nothing and I just not taking any shower for three days. For real. Even sometimes if I’m soooooo lazy it can be way worst. And when that “worst” moment happen, like if you  5 meters away from me and you smell something gross, no need to look any direction, that’s me. And she just yell at me. Ahhh memory. And sometimes I hate her for being so demanding, and how she put her dream to me. That just so stressful even to think about it for a legit second. And when I talked to her its gonna be all awkward. Well not “all” but yeah we just have nothing to say to eachother. Or she just say something and I just listen like a good girl. More like I heve nothing to say to her, my life is not that interesting in words. That’s the reason I never call her or Dad or even my siblings. Cos seriously, I don’t have things to say.

Sometimes I just wish that I could have a hug from my Mom. Like a real hug. Not just a “welcome home honey” kinda hug. I can imagine how awkward it would be. But still, I love you still Mom :)

At this point, I just wanna say something to my Mom. Even tho she’s not and never read this blog

(cos you’ll never let her, right?) yup :D sorry Mom

But seriously,
Mom, I know how you struggle for living. I try to understand, I try to do my best, but please stop yelling. That’s so scared the living soul out of me Mom.
Thank you for being my Mom, I really appreciate with all my life how you love me in so many ways. I can’t never pay every single pray you wish for me and my siblings on every Sholat. I can’t never pay a`ll the love.

And sorry for being such a bad kid. Sorry if I can’t never do things right. Sorry for ignoring your love sometimes. Sorry for not listening and sorry if sometime I’m not treat you right.

Thank you for worrying about me, even tho you’ll get mad first, but I still love you Mom. I can’t never really hate you. Maybe at first I’ll be just hating on you, but in the end please know that I will always love you Mom, I always proud to be your badass daughter.

If God calling me, and I have no time left to say this with my own mouth. I just wish that this blog will be the prove of my love for my beautiful being Mom.

I love you Mom <3

(dude…. You really miss her, am I right?)

Yeah im such a baby, right? *wipe tears*

I guess I really miss her so much, and her cook uuhh and her cook hahahaha 
no, I really miss her.
I get really emotional here. Time to stop it here.
Until then… stay teehee everybody :)

(i wrote this at saturday night.. and i'm literally legit crying)

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my fangirl story


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Okay so this should be easy i guess..

The topic of the year of 2014 (not really) (i don’t know but i guess thats quite epic) (silly me)
So uhh i wanna write bout  my fangirl life which surprisingly  change me into ... a lamp? Hahaha yeah its kinda ridiculous how things work last year.. so chaostic of feelings and tears and feelings and chocolate  and tears and happy and uhhh stuff . But yeah over all im happy even happier i guess. At least this fangirl thing help me thru my not so boring life (i dont wanna sound that im so ungrateful bout my life and uhh lets skip this part for later).. (i dont wanna be too emotional here so)

Moving on !

My fangirl lyfe was or is pretty good i guess (thank you ryan) and these people called higaholics are just so sweet, it gives me diarrhea or diabetes? Hahaha just kidding. But they are seriously sweet and cute and lovely. Truely 100% beautiful, in and out (thats sound pervert for me tbh when people say things like “ beautiful in and out” stuff, like the outside part is fine but inside?)

Okay this parentthesis are getting ridiculous sorry if that bother you..

(uhh duh who will read this anyway ck)

*grump* Speaking of higaholics, can i talk bout ryan higa? Yes? Okay so ..

This guy name RYAN HIGA who born in june 6th 1990 in Hawaii who happen to be a youtubers who i happen to just realize his existence in the beginning of june last year and i kinda witnessed his birthday too but wasn’t the big fan that time until i watch one his vids “why selena broke up with justin” and i found it hilarious so i decided to download 3 vids “how to sing like your favorite artist”, “dear ryan: army of lamps” and “immature guy!” and ever since then i keep downloading his stuff and now you can tell that im a big huge skinnier fat not so giant fan.. or lamp (read this part without even stop for a breathe #idareyou)

(dude no one’s gonna read this anyway)

Well just in case XD

At first, nothing really special. I just like him because he’s funny. He can put the joke in the right place, or should i say in the most genius way. The puns just make me laugh even harder that i, sometimes, have to cover my mouth so that people wont get panic because my sudden burst of laughter that make the world twerking a little bit. (make the world twerk huh.. that so yesterday, right miley?) and then i downloaded two more vids. And these two vids are actually the vids that i wanna download first becos there’s a japanese name in it. anything bout japan is always attract my eyes. But at that time those three vids that i download was the latest and i think i should watch the latest so that i know if the vids from this guy are worth the watch or not (now im down to his marathon 3 times a week . too much?) and these two vids are “the ryan higa: sean fujiyoshi” and “fruit ninja fail”. Ever since that i get my addiction to download his vids. And you can say that these first 5 vids are having their throne in my empire.

(how bout the “why selena broke up with justin” vid?)

Well my friend ..

(wait you have friend?)

Shut up you stupid parentthesis!! Lemme finish okay

(.......)

I get distracted by the title of some vids before i finally download it. Like “oh this tittle seems legit enough, lets download it” .
Okay can we talk bout that vid for a while.
Such a beliber i am (hi justin !!!) that i just search anything that relate to justin on youtube.. well actually i was quite bored and i went to youtube when all of a sudden sth went missing. And that sth was in the suggestion bar.  And that sth is ryan higa.

A lil out of topic

So basically i know bout ryan long time ago ever since i know youtube and i made a channel. His vids were always in the front page. He always there in the suggestion bar.  And i know jenna’s channel too but her vids never showed up or her channel never touch my suggestion bar. I found her channel in a total accident (lets save this part for later) back to ryan. There’s this one time when i looked up for “how to”  vid like a legit tutorial how to be a better person stuff and the search bar always suggest like “how to be ninja”, “how to be emo” and “how to be gangster” (even i found the creepiest one “how to be vampire” haha edward wannabes) and when i clicked at those suggestion i found them pretty old vid and i was not in to old stuff so i keep on searching things that i wanna search. One of the most suggested video that time that always made an apperance on my first page was “why selena broke up with justin” and that vid been there for a few moments and then dissapeared but his channel still hang there in my suggestion bar.

Now back to the main topic

So when suddenly ryan’s channel, nigahiga, went missing for quite long, and then i decided to look up for his channel. But the first thing to type is not “nigahiga” cos at that time i didn’t remember  so i type that justin vid. I didn’t remember the tittle too cos bad memory  so i just typed “justin broke up with selena” and i was like “hmm should i watch it or should i not?”. At  that time im making such a deal with my spirit and the universe wether should i just ignored it or completely ignored it (cos lazy peep i am) and then.. it happen.. the most momentum of my fangirl career.. i .. i.. clicked it.. and and and watched it and and laughed at it..
Well there’s nothing bout belieber actually.. but such a dedicate fan i am that i looked up for the vid with his name in it. (so dedicate, right?)
And it just hit me as i wrote this that its becos of justin bieber i know bout this hilarious guy name ryan higa. And i love him. With all my food in the fridge and a lil pocket of my heart. The hot pocket one.

I’d like to write more but i guess its enough. Its pretty tiring to think bout words and grammar and and ryan and im hungry (what?) and i wanna say sorry to anyone who read this blog, including myself, for the stupid parenthesis thingy (i dont know i just like to talk to myself irl that i apply it on my writing here)
(beside dude, seriously who will actually have time to read this longass train rant?)
so yeah thats bout it.
Im going to write something bout my fangirl career next time.
Until then, stay teehee everybody
#TEEHEE


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it's been a while since i write sth here.. hahaha so many things going on in 2013
fangirling has change me a lot. like its literally sucking out my sanity to de core. thanks to ryan higa now i'm like crying with happiness and feels that i never feel and craziness just ... ITS ALREADY LIKE THE PART OF MY FREAKING EXISTENCE LIKE UGGHH
but over all im fine.. just skip a beat every now and then feel breathless and hungry all the time (basically that my prob now)
oh well anyway i decided ro dedicate this blog to explode my feelings over my far away boyfriend ryan higa..
i dont know what to post tho.
so i just write a lil for a lil update cos its been a while (like i need to use this thing, idk why i just feel it)
and i guess this'll be he nice place since .. duhh no one pay attention to this old stuff like blogging.. twitter has taken everything and i like it. that means this thing just getting classyy huummm *wink wink
i like it..
beside i wont really write i mean i only got 10 fingers 2 eyes and typing is just tiring yknow..
still try to figure out what to post here (and i dont think i'll post frequently) so until then..
stay frozen everybody (do you wanna build a snowman?)

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speaking of frozen, im not watching it yet cos idk i just lazy to go to the cinema or maybe i just broke as heck #teehee

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