YTFF
Youtube Fan Fest 2014
From
my own theory, is the event where youtubers
around the world gathering and meet their fans and get interviewed and heve fun
with their fans. An event full of love and happiness. A heaven for those
youtube fans.
And… I’m just gonna say it from here that I’M DYING.
The reason has got to be the place they
choose to held that “heaven on earth” event.
Singapore and Australia. The two most close
country from mine. My country is like between them and that’s, most likely my
friend, the reason why I’m dying. Like its okay for me if they held the event
in Philippines or Thailand or Japan but the problem I have here is my country
position that stuck between 2 country. Its okay if they held it in Singapore
only or Australia only (sorry I just have to say it).
And I feel the sadness from some of my
higaholic fellas that live near the event but can’t go for some reason. They
just dying as much as I am with, prolly more painful possibilities.
I’m having such a dillema everytime I went
to Twitter. There’s sad tweets, happy tweets, support each other tweets, “ship”
tweets on my timeline and its just random feelings. At first I’m cool with that,
but then the crowd of YTFF is like everywhere on my timeline especially when
the first day livestream on Youtube. I’m like in dead lock dying mode because
Jenna “gangstah queen” Marbles is the first to showed up and I can only watch
the first 8 minutes which just a longass train of freaking intros and because
the lack of the connection of wi fi AND I got karate lesson in like 30 minutes
so you know what happen next.
Fortunately, my karate lesson just went good that the tiredness
replacing all the sad feelings in me.
And then the second day came along. It was
time for Ryan Higa to show up. This is probably de most hard time for me,
because first it was Sunday and the number one rule for my Sunday is that “stay
home” and do nothing (don’t ask) second I got no wi fi at home SOOO I can’t watch
the livestream. First I’m like cool with that (like always) but I know that I
should’ve avoided reading tweets about YTFF livestream so that I won’t get
hurt. But then I was like “ehh how bad is it to not watch the live stream? I’m
not alone. There’s bunch of other people that can’t watch too so that would be
fine” so I was just put the motto, YOLO, on my forehead and keep turn on my sms
notification.
If you don’t know, this sms twitter thingy
is pretty useful for me who broke and poor and can’t effort anything to connect
myself to cyber world. And, I turn on my notif for some higaholics and some
users to keep myself up to date. Not all, just some.
Back to the topic!!
The livestream was on, and…. surprisingly…
it hurts me, well more like I envy
those who got the chance to met Ryan and watched the live stream to witnessed
the one and only Ryan Higa, LIVE. The “envy” take over me like crazy. How crazy? Well lets just say it
makes me decide to turn off my sms notification and not looking at my timeline
on twitter via web (follow me @be__cg #selfpromoshhhheettt) I was , *sigh* I can’t
believe to say this, HEART BROKEN. Like in all literal meaning I was in total
mental break down. But I try my best to cover it by tweeting like nothing
happen. I was planning on pretend it
until I feel better. But the more I read those lovely tweets about what was
going on YTFF (higaholics are the best story teller and spoilers ever I swear)
I was legit crying I’m not even kidding. I just make the jelly inside me more
than just solid that I myself can’t even eat it. If you fangirl or anything
along those line you know what I’m talking about. No? oh well. Yeah I’m
jealous, and it really hurt I never knew its gonna be this bad to be jealous
with someone. Not just with higaholics that watched the live stream from day
one and two, higaholics that met Ryan in Singapore and Australia or any fabelezzz youtubers like Jenna etc, but also with Ryan Higa himself, the guy I adore with all my
fangirl self. Well I envy him for anything but never knew it’ll come out like
this. Maybe if I watched the live stream I will be more envy towards him.
Seriously I’m literally envy him since I watch his video for the first time.
For being so cute and stuff.
And that’s the not so full length story of
why I’m so skinny.. what?
I keep tweeting emo stuff since then and I
think I might be more depressed if I talk with anyone else on Twitter more like
I don’t wanna fake my tweets by saying “I’m fine now” as a reply to someones
tweet to me cos I know that myself is still in pieces and I have to collect all
those pieces and make it a whole thing again. I was thinking about deactive my
twitter for a while but I can’t “live” without tweeting my minds out so I
decide to just keep tweeting and ignoring people’s tweet to me. Higaholics are
lovely people and I don’t wanna hurt them with my tweets. Avoiding timeline was
not enough so I avoiding my notif as well. And before june 6th is over I will be “not
available for any interaction with twitter users” (my stupid bio). So far I got
34 notifs and maybe will increase each day. I’ve been tweeting to people too
about “don’t replying my tweets” (so confidence that there’ll be people who
replying my stupid tweets hahaaaaa I’m so loser)
Since my second acc was for pics of ehem
Ryan ehem, and a lil rant tweets so I just gonna using my main acc.
So far I’m feeling good. Though, its pretty
weird that no tweets send to my phone. But yeah I think it’s working. Listening
to bunch of music lately, banging my ears with loud really loud super seiyan
kinda loud that is. And I know I’ll be missing out a lot of stuff but I’m still
keep my eyes on youtube for videos.
But why june 6th if the YTFF end
in 31st may? Becauseeeee I need to really make the crowd for YTFF in
my timeline calm, I don’t wanna envy those who meet Ryan or watch the
livestream and happy for them instead, I don’t wanna be all emo, I really wanna
congrate them in the most honest way not because I have to but because I really
mean it. I know I might be late to do that in the future but at least that’s
the thing I will do in june 6th. Higaholics are lovable and not to
mention most of them are like my “little sister” age soooo I just wanna show my
maturity (I never be mature but at least I’m trying… uhh right?)
I’ll be posting again tomorrow with another
story of my.. I don’t know I just feel like to different this post with another
post so.. until then stay teehee everybody:)
