rant on JB, youtubers and HBD RYAN!!!


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This blogging is gonna be the most serious topic I’ve ever ummmm write. Or not.

So few days ago Ryan uploaded a rant video about JB being racist, and since I’m a belieber, well not the hardcore one but I used to tho for like 2 months in his earlier carier as a teenage singer and twas like long long ago, the topic got me like “okay lets do diz”. And as usual my motto for Ryan’s video especially the rant one is “never say never” like you almost can’t find anything in particular  to say “ummm i’m not agree to that” to most of his rants.

Well i do had some opinions of my own that againts his rant or some of his skits, but just a little part. Ain’t no body perfect in this world and if there were he or she might be not human (unicorn perhaps or wannabe unicorn)

Back to the topic!!

I was kinda aware of bad things might happen to my idols, they can’t be full of good stuff, you know. Like sometimes i might just stop and think “some bad stuff will happen to you” no matter it’s big or super big. And when that “bad stuff” happen I’m just like “told cha”. This thought of “bad stuff” will keep my sanity away from jumping to a conclusion that these people are all perfect, that they just as human as I am, they do bad stuff too. Justin is like one of many proves to my stupid theory.

I mean look at “some” celebrities and singers that getting popular among teenagers, you might see them all good in the begining but wait, just wait until some paparazi flash some bad news to your face and you will change your opinion towards them forever or at least become less fangirl toward them like I did. Or maybe you just being more and more dedicate to your idol if you are the hardcore one. And i knew a belieber that soooooo dedicated, she’s fangirling some singers too but not like when she’s fangirl over justin. It’s quite surprised me

When Justin turned 20 I just so happy like “ahhh finally he’s leaving the “teen” to “ty” heck to the yeahhh” because i know that there'll be so many people love him because their teenage face and bla bla bla

I never really pay much attention to the news bout Justin or any celebrities. I just heard a little news but refuse to talk much about it or respond (well a little talk maybe) because most of the news I heard like some celebrities got caught doing bad stuff, cheating with someone else, etc. Despite the good news the bad news are always being the highlight. And then again the dramas that some paparazi create by making assumption to make the news more interesting. Or maybe the news about new celebrity, new singer, that more fresh and “young”. But in the end they are “celebrities” they have fans (and Ryan has lamps, now beat that hahaha) no matter how bad they are, fans always there to make things cool. But most of the time “some” fans make things complicated and full with hate toward those who disagree with them. Not all just some. And I think that’s normal.

As an (not so) adult person I am, I like to think that celebrities are just as human, just as weak, just as bad as I am, only more beautiful and uhh talented than me (duhh). I like to tolerate their mistake rather than really consuming the news. Maybe some news really get me but they only stay on the surface and not deeply sink in.

That’s why the more popular they get the more I wanna step back. For example: when Bieber fever getting popular and I saw him in any corner of the news and so many people love him or when K-pop being highlight in every magazine (yeah I used to be an “elf” for umm a month and a half). And lately I found some new thing in twitter, like 5sos and exo. Teenagers these days. Haha I remebered when I used to be in that stage of age. Clueeless of stuff. And stupid (that’s just me)

Personally I love something that people barely knew of. For a very simple example: Ryan Higa. Only some people in this country knew him. And that’s why I love him. imagine if he’s becoming popular in intertaintment I probably already dump him now. Well he is popular in not so low scale. 
And I’m glad for it. I’m glad that he really dedicated his life to Youtube.

The thing with youtubers is that they being “us” in front of the camera. They don’t have to cover stuff because they like to reveal them publicly in de most human way as possible. They like to make fun of them self because they’re “us”. Maybe some of us just don’t like being fun of but by watching them you know that make fun of yourself is more than just acceptable and its fine to make funny faces, laughing your own foolishness and being geniusly stupid. They do have obstacles in life but instead of being sad they will make people smile by watching their videos. The only bad things that could’ve happen to them are: they have problems in editing or film making that make the video being uploaded really late (that means it’s a very good video and it’s definitely worth the wait no matter how we can’t wait for that but in the end, its completely worth it) or they’re feeling not well and sick (nightmare for youtube fans) or maybe they lost their loved ones.

Despite all the good stuff I wrote about youtubers, some youtubers sometimes can be rude or being obnoxious in some of their parody or skit or rant videos but I think we can agree to disagree that it’s just the way they express what they saw or what they heard on the news. At least they’re being realistic. or some youtubers choose to make their jokes simple but you can still catch what the jokes really mean. Or they just meant to make it as a pure joke.

And I like how youtubers not really famous in entertainment (this is just MY opinion) first of all, like what i said earlier, i love any “rare” thing (with that they got the thorn in my empiyaaahhh) second they don’t have to deal with paparazi which good. They don’t have to deal with “famous” life and i think they never really take it seriously. In fact, they probably never think that they’re famous. For me i considered them as “fabulous” people (duhh because they ARE). nonetheless, i like their honesty towards their audience how they really... THEY JUST AMAZING OK. How they never think that they are famous that they just “people” like us. (are you even.. ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME? “PEOPLE”? YOU’RE LIKE .. LIKE .. UNICORN)

Next!!

I know it’s really late and june 6th was few days ago but HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!! And not only Ryan’s birthday, june hold so many birthdays. Like Troy Sivan, mr. Marbles (Jenna’s dog), and dank Derick and Greg too and my lil bro and my badass son Triny. We definitely celebrate this month. I hope I was born in june too, well God choose to make me life in september so.. hahaha.

And I remembered in june 5th and 6th we, higaholics change our avatar in to fetus Ryan and this hashtag my friend “#birthdaywishesfromlamp” was make me legit crying. At first I was like “why we have to change our avatar?” and then I change my ava with not-so fetus Ryan pic becos I’m getting really dizzy for some reason. But then again I couldn’t resisted the “feels” so I ignored the confuseness and jump in to the chaos. And yeah yeah my muchness did has its limit so.. I cried. This time was almost the same when Ryan was in YTFF but in a lower level because higaholics showing their love. No sad tweets or emo tweets we just.. just .. love. this is my first time to witnessed this, my first year of being lamp and its just getting better and better. Dem feels doe.

I love the way higaholics love Ryan (The love bro, it’s the looovvveeee) The love we have for dat guy. DAT GUY. It’s just beautiful. Thanks Ryan and higaholics for make me feel… random and I love it.

Well that’s the story for this week. My mission is to surviving june because 3 things: 1. Ryan’s birthday, 2. FIFA World cup and, 3. Exams. 1st was already past, 2nd will be here in couple hours and 3rd in the end of june. Feels everytime bro. 

Until then stay teehee everybody :)

the YTFF feels continue, caffeine shots and i break my own word weeeee


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Oh hi oh (I read this as ohio)

First thing first (I’m the realest), uhhh I might be just a little over whelmed by the readers of my blog. I keep asking myself like “are you guys really READ my blog? Or maybe you just accidently click my blog link?” yeah I have that “self promo” stuff in me. But like seriously I think no people have time to read blog these days except if you have any assigment and then you search something on google and most of the suggestions are blogspot or wordpress or any website (copy paste power)

Alright from now on I’m gonna shut up and stop the crack and just wanna say thank you for reading this useless blog. Seriously I’m not even wish for any of you read this blog I mean it’s just a blog where I write things that I thought, things that happen to me, my rant here were like the “resume” of my daily tweets. And not to mention I have so many typos here and there and my grammar suck, which I think that’s (not) the reason why you guys reading my blog.

Anyway

My first story started in Saturday 31st may, the ending of YTFF and I FINALLY got the chance to watched it. I’M LIKE IN THE TOTAL MODE OF FANGIRL, MY SOUL NOT READY, IT FELT LIKE AN EARTHQUEKE COS EVERYTHING SHAKING I CAN’T EVEN BREATHE RIGHT. I WAS LIKE “WHAT WHAT HAPPEN?” (fangirl status: beast)

The first to showed up was Jenna “lovely” Marbles, the feels were so hard to handle since she is my QUEEN. I was go back and forth around the campus, looking for the right spot so that people won’t see me fangirl and stuff like that. I found some places but the connection was slower than the snail. And even when I found the faster one the livestream keep buffering pretty long and my laptop keep crashing AND even this spot just “quite” for like an hour and then there’s a group of four or five girls sorrounding me (well not really “surrounding” me they just few steps away from me) but at least I fangirled when Jenna came along so it was good. How good? SOO FREAKING GOOD.

Jenna was flawless as usual, with the leggings (is that leggings she wearing?) she just look as beautiful as she always be. The host was asking some questions and my heart just went more crazy when she said “I love ijustine” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i’ve been expecting that answer but I never knew that I WOULD BE THIS HAPPY TO KNOW THAT. Well maybe because I heard it LIVE duhhh. And then the other crazy heart was when the host asked who is the most favorite youtuber. I was like “Ryan Higa, Ryan Higa, Ryan Higa”  while crossing my fingers and the she answered it. Its him “Ryan Higa” I WAS LEGIT SCREAMING MY FANGIRL OUT DUDE OMG. Those answers just made my whole life. After Jenna done I still covered my mouth with my hands try to block the scream and stuff.

Kinda wish that Ryan would go on stage after Jenna but the world said “uh uh I save him for you letter so you have time to prepare yourself to fangirl over him” so there were bunch of other youtubers that I never knew exist. One by one passed by, I’m getting bored and a group of girls sitting in front of me and they opened their laptop and the only thing I knew after that the connection went slower. The video keep buffering like crazy I started to get panic and keep refreshing the page and then *inhale exhale* RYAN HOLEY SWEET CANDY HIGA.

I WAS LIKE LEGIT PANIC HOLEY SHEET LIKE “OMG I WATCHED IT. LIVE. ITS HIM. OMG” I COULDN’T EVEN GRAB ANY OXYGEN AROUND ME LIKE I WAS IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLANET. NOT CARING THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF ME I JUST KEEP WATCHING THE SCREEN AND ACT LIKE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GIRL.

(waah such a capslock you have there maam haaahaa)

*cough* sorry I just get a little carried away with the situation. It was amazing. The crowd for Ryan was good. But to compare it with my fangirl is like…. Just the same I guess. I completely love the crowd. And there’s the questions session. Some of the questions are from my Higaholics fellas, so happy for them and the way Ryan answered those q’s just make me fangirl real hard. there’s “algebryan” there’s “coffee shop love” there’s “teehee” and even the “baby lamp”. And Sean and Greg were on stage too.

Oh oh wait can I have some words for the opening when Ryan said to the audience to completely silent and look bored while he taking a video that he will post in his ig? It won’t work Ryan, please. The crowd for you are just love you so much that they can’t even handle a tiny excitement and fangirl. Just like in Vidcon last year you tried to do the same thing and the crowd still screaming for you no matter what hehehe.

Saturday just getting more hyper and stuff cos I took 3 shots of caffeine. 2 from coffee and 1 from energy drink called Kratingden (I spelled it completely incorrect maybe).

And when having more than one shot of caffeine I’ll be super seiyan sensitive and stuff I even cried at 10:30pm because all of a sudden I was feeling homesick and guilty and .. emo. And the feels from the YTFF live stream, there’s happy and jelly and it’s a happy jelly haha. But most likely I cried over homesick (I’m 10)

Another story came out yesterday.

So dis dude, my son, Trinity hella matrixy was the person who make me finally break my own word. June 6th still like several days ahead and this new thing that happen in “notifications” that poped out when you got new notif and I saw Triny tweeted me and I can’t hold it any longer. I was like in a huge dillema cos I feel not ready for any fangirl stuff. But then, I really wanna know bout her concert because duhh ITS FOSTER THE PEOPLE AND PANIC! AT THE DISCO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. So I tweet her back and clicked the notif butt and I was like “omg after like days, it feels like so long ago”. Now I can tweet “congratulation” without feeling jelly, a bad jelly was gone, it was come out pure and I do happy for them. My fangirl still beast but I can control it this time. it feels real good to have convos with bunch of higaholics without feeling jelly with them (being envy toward someone for the maximum heart capacity is tiring) yeah my “jelliness” towards youtubers still but not that hard, well sometimes hashtag true story.

Oh and there’s a little video from Elena, DUDEEEEE DE FANGIRL JUST SO GOOD.


I won’t be that active on twitter since I can’t turn on everything, I can’t activate my phone number and its just so not cool. And exam come out fast, college exam and karate exam. Man why I’m always not ready for those exams? Damnnn.

I got GTFO My Room lyrics video ready just need to add some scenes and words and edits and coffee and tired and happy feet when its done.
Okay that’s it for this blog. In conclusion so happy to interact with my fellas and to break my own promise is just (actually not) cool mehehehe. 
Until then, Stay teehee everybody.

the story of my shirt and bunch of unnecessary stuff


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As I said in my yesterday post that I’m gonna post again, this should be Friday when I post this. And since I wrote this on Thursday it’s just gonna be quick blogging cos I have assigments to do and I’m already becoming a profesional proscratinator since forever (I was probably born for it hahaha)

So uhhh as I take my hiatus from interact with my lovely interenet friends which quite long and suck and I miss them but I have to hold the feels, I have so many things going on. Well not that many just bunch of some old stuff.

First I wanna start with the story of my shirt. What’s special about your shirt miss Atiq? If anybody who read this blog is my cyber friend on twitter then you should know what I’m talking about (I’m all positive that only my friends on twitter read this blog, thanks guys) I was watching tv show when suddenly they start showing out DIY on a shirt and I was like “whatzz? You can do that to your shirt? Waaah” and the first thought that came in mind was “STFU” logo. Yup it’s the “STFU” Stop Tickling Furry Unicorns. I know I know I’m like soooo yesterday to know bout DIY thingy (I’m old okay) but I’m all excited to make this thing happen. I’ve been practicing drawing the STFU on my laptop, on papers, on my skin (impermanently), well basically ON everything but shirt.

“This is the time, I MUST make this” my intention here was quite strong that no one will ever stop me (except you give me a life supply of chocolate especially delfi and oreos, I’d be putting all “white flag” with smile.. hahaha jk)

So I bought the paint, the brush and that’s it. But I wasn’t go straight to paint the shirt after buyying the tools. I need TIMESSSS. I did a lil testing. The paint cover said “you can use this paint on papers, shirts, woods etc” so I think it won’t rinse. But no it did rinse and I was like “oh NOOOOOO”. Luckly it’s not ALL rinse but it’s like a lil, yeah I’m just so easy to get panic. I was paint the sleeve first and here’s the result:

not so good, right? and yes thats my ugly face and i put teehee stuff on my hat pretty cool right?

Few moments after the sleeve I was collecting all my positive thought in me (because I was all emo since the YTFF livestream day one and two in Singapore) to make the big one in the back of my shirt. It took me a whole day to draw the pattern and another whole day to paint the shirt.
And here’s the result:

I keep looking at my shirt like it was a picaso painting, a “monalisa” of mine, a sweet master piece, my new born child. Since I was so proud and stuff I wore that shirt backward to campus, so lucky that I can cover it and no one can tell that I wore my shirt backward. There were so many people looking at my shirt and try to read the STFU sign, or maybe they realize that I’m wearing that shirt backward. Oh weeelllll. And I really wish that I can paint and put the “STFU” logo on every cloth of mine hahaha.

Next story is from my Ed “teddy” Sheeran.

So he announced his album “X” and I was hyper as always (fangirl you know) but not really hard this time just excited. The first single is “Sing” and I was quite surprised because its so diff, very catchy, and not gonna lie I was like “uhhhh what is it? Me not like this” but now the level of “not like” turn into “all good” not perfect just good. For few times, until what I just saw in probably 3 days ago, I saw the “Sing” video clip on Youtube. They using puppet to replace the real Ed Sheeran to act as a bad lad. I was frozen in my place and died laughing. It reminds me of Smosh’s video about christmas story, and also reminds me that Ryan legalized “lamp marriege” hahahaha oh gosh memory. Its funny and I like the bad lad puppet cos I know all the sheerios know that Ed will never ever do something like that.



there's even pharrel in it.. <3

Yeah that’s the unnecessary story from me, I guess I won’t be able to blogging next week or maybe I will steal some times to write. Until then stay teehee everybody

YTFF feels and the ridiculously dumb jealous of me


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YTFF

Youtube Fan Fest 2014

From my own theory, is the event where youtubers around the world gathering and meet their fans and get interviewed and heve fun with their fans. An event full of love and happiness. A heaven for those youtube fans.

And… I’m just gonna say it from here that I’M DYING.

The reason has got to be the place they choose to held that “heaven on earth” event.

Singapore and Australia. The two most close country from mine. My country is like between them and that’s, most likely my friend, the reason why I’m dying. Like its okay for me if they held the event in Philippines or Thailand or Japan but the problem I have here is my country position that stuck between 2 country. Its okay if they held it in Singapore only or Australia only (sorry I just have to say it).

And I feel the sadness from some of my higaholic fellas that live near the event but can’t go for some reason. They just dying as much as I am with, prolly more painful possibilities.

I’m having such a dillema everytime I went to Twitter. There’s sad tweets, happy tweets, support each other tweets, “ship” tweets on my timeline and its just random feelings. At first I’m cool with that, but then the crowd of YTFF is like everywhere on my timeline especially when the first day livestream on Youtube. I’m like in dead lock dying mode because Jenna “gangstah queen” Marbles is the first to showed up and I can only watch the first 8 minutes which just a longass train of freaking intros and because the lack of the connection of wi fi AND I got karate lesson in like 30 minutes so you know what happen next.  Fortunately, my karate lesson just went good that the tiredness replacing all the sad feelings in me.

And then the second day came along. It was time for Ryan Higa to show up. This is probably de most hard time for me, because first it was Sunday and the number one rule for my Sunday is that “stay home” and do nothing (don’t ask) second I got no wi fi at home SOOO I can’t watch the livestream. First I’m like cool with that (like always) but I know that I should’ve avoided reading tweets about YTFF livestream so that I won’t get hurt. But then I was like “ehh how bad is it to not watch the live stream? I’m not alone. There’s bunch of other people that can’t watch too so that would be fine” so I was just put the motto, YOLO, on my forehead and keep turn on my sms notification.

If you don’t know, this sms twitter thingy is pretty useful for me who broke and poor and can’t effort anything to connect myself to cyber world. And, I turn on my notif for some higaholics and some users to keep myself up to date. Not all, just some.

Back to the topic!!

The livestream was on, and…. surprisingly… it hurts me, well more like I envy those who got the chance to met Ryan and watched the live stream to witnessed the one and only Ryan Higa, LIVE. The “envy” take over me like crazy. How crazy? Well lets just say it makes me decide to turn off my sms notification and not looking at my timeline on twitter via web (follow me @be__cg #selfpromoshhhheettt) I was , *sigh* I can’t believe to say this, HEART BROKEN. Like in all literal meaning I was in total mental break down. But I try my best to cover it by tweeting like nothing happen.  I was planning on pretend it until I feel better. But the more I read those lovely tweets about what was going on YTFF (higaholics are the best story teller and spoilers ever I swear) I was legit crying I’m not even kidding. I just make the jelly inside me more than just solid that I myself can’t even eat it. If you fangirl or anything along those line you know what I’m talking about. No? oh well. Yeah I’m jealous, and it really hurt I never knew its gonna be this bad to be jealous with someone. Not just with higaholics that watched the live stream from day one and two, higaholics that met Ryan in Singapore and Australia or any fabelezzz youtubers like Jenna etc, but also with Ryan Higa himself, the guy I adore with all my fangirl self. Well I envy him for anything but never knew it’ll come out like this. Maybe if I watched the live stream I will be more envy towards him. Seriously I’m literally envy him since I watch his video for the first time. For being so cute and stuff.

And that’s the not so full length story of why I’m so skinny.. what?

I keep tweeting emo stuff since then and I think I might be more depressed if I talk with anyone else on Twitter more like I don’t wanna fake my tweets by saying “I’m fine now” as a reply to someones tweet to me cos I know that myself is still in pieces and I have to collect all those pieces and make it a whole thing again. I was thinking about deactive my twitter for a while but I can’t “live” without tweeting my minds out so I decide to just keep tweeting and ignoring people’s tweet to me. Higaholics are lovely people and I don’t wanna hurt them with my tweets. Avoiding timeline was not enough so I avoiding my notif as well. And before june 6th is over I will be “not available for any interaction with twitter users” (my stupid bio). So far I got 34 notifs and maybe will increase each day. I’ve been tweeting to people too about “don’t replying my tweets” (so confidence that there’ll be people who replying my stupid tweets hahaaaaa I’m so loser)

Since my second acc was for pics of ehem Ryan ehem, and a lil rant tweets so I just gonna using my main acc.

So far I’m feeling good. Though, its pretty weird that no tweets send to my phone. But yeah I think it’s working. Listening to bunch of music lately, banging my ears with loud really loud super seiyan kinda loud that is. And I know I’ll be missing out a lot of stuff but I’m still keep my eyes on youtube for videos.

But why june 6th if the YTFF end in 31st may? Becauseeeee I need to really make the crowd for YTFF in my timeline calm, I don’t wanna envy those who meet Ryan or watch the livestream and happy for them instead, I don’t wanna be all emo, I really wanna congrate them in the most honest way not because I have to but because I really mean it. I know I might be late to do that in the future but at least that’s the thing I will do in june 6th. Higaholics are lovable and not to mention most of them are like my “little sister” age soooo I just wanna show my maturity (I never be mature but at least I’m trying… uhh right?)

I’ll be posting again tomorrow with another story of my.. I don’t know I just feel like to different this post with another post so.. until then stay teehee everybody:)